During my recent visit to the Divine Retreat Centre in India I had a rare opportunity to spend a lot of time in prayer. One thing I discovered about myself is that when I don't have enough private time with the Lord I tend to build up a defense even against God! I feel the need to take care of myself and carry my own life on my own shoulders. This drains my energy and stresses me out. Even when I read the promises of God that I have so often preached to others, they seem so unreal to me. I tell myself of God's personal love for me but it does not ease the worry of taking responsibility for myself.
The one way to change this situation is to take time to soak in the word and presence of God. Though nothing seems to happen at first, the depths of our unconscious dryness and unbelief is touched and suddenly the miracle of presence and the fruits of the spirit such as peace love and joy are restored. Let us all find a time to be personally and internally renewed in the spirit.
1 comment:
Hi,
I have always been in this struggle where reasoning takes over belief and faith.
I read the bible, maditate the mysteries (Rosary), be in the presence of the holy eucharist, watch God tv, listen to theologians on EWTN. do 4 steps come for services at Mabola, St. Peter's....But still empty,unfulfilled. Reason being: it's all one way traffic. No time to love (preoccupied with the bible or rosary), no time to share, no time to lend the shoulder one needs to cry, no time for kids, no time for friends etc...
Jesus taught me, that, I'm a channel for his grace to flow. Like this there are so many channels of grace. And he told me, that, God threw the mold after he created me. This sense of belonging is what keeps me happy!
Thank you Jesus!
Praise the Lord!
Suresh Fernando
Wattala.
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